There was a season in my life when everything looked fine from the outside—but on the inside, I felt like I was disappearing.
I had the kind of job people say you’re lucky to have. It paid well. It gave me structure. It came with good coworkers, decent benefits, and a predictable future.
But it also took the best part of my mind every single day: I gave it my attention, my focus, my problem-solving brain—and when I sat down to work on the ideas that really mattered to me, I was spent.
I wasn’t unhappy. But I was restless.
I kept waiting for a window to open. I thought maybe if I worked a little harder or got a little better at time management, I’d find the space to build something of my own.
But that window never opened. And I stayed stuck—busy, but going nowhere that felt like mine.
Eventually, I stopped waiting for more time and started asking a better question:
When do I have energy, and what am I doing with it?
The Shift That Changed Everything
What I learned—fast—is that the answer wasn’t about hours. It was about energy.
And if I didn’t start protecting the clearest, sharpest parts of my day, my best ideas were going to die in a to-do list.
I paid close attention for one week. I tracked when I felt alert. When I zoned out. When I hit walls. What I found was that I had a one-hour window in the morning—just after waking up, before opening my inbox—when my mind was clear.
So I took it.
One hour. Every morning. Before anything else. That became mine.
Not for catching up. Not for reacting. Just for building.
I didn’t start a business in a week. I didn’t even know what the full picture was yet. But I stopped giving my best thinking to work that didn’t belong to me.
And that changed everything.
Real Progress Doesn’t Always Look Big
I also stopped trying to track giant leaps.
I needed proof I was moving—even if it was slow. So I started a Friday ritual:
- Three things I did for my job.
- Three things I did for myself.
If the second list was empty, I didn’t scroll on the weekend.
That was the rule.
Not because I believed in punishment—but because I knew if I kept postponing my own progress, it would never happen.
Six months in, I looked up and realized something: I’d already started to build the second life I thought I needed permission for.
It was real. Quiet. In motion.
And no one had to give it to me. I gave it to myself.
The One Idea That Made It Click
One of the most helpful tools during this shift wasn’t a planner or a podcast—it was a TED Talk.
How to Be Productive Without Burning Out by Cal Newport is one of the few talks that speaks to energy—not just time.
He explains how most people give their sharpest, clearest hours away to tasks that don’t really move them forward.
That talk helped me understand what I had been feeling all along:
It wasn’t that I couldn’t do the work. It’s that I was giving the best of myself to the wrong things.
Once I understood that, I didn’t need more motivation. I just needed a better system.
What I Know Now
Looking back, the biggest change didn’t come from quitting my job.
It came from finally seeing what my energy was worth—and choosing to use it better.
Not perfectly. Just honestly.
The difference was in how I showed up for myself when no one was watching.
And if there’s one thing I’d do the same way again, it’s that.
-
Justin
